Author: Asavari Singh

My two paragraphs of fame

I was ego-surfing the other day and discovered that an essay that I’d won a prize for back in my youth was published in a book — Branding India — by Amitabh Kant. In his book review, the editor of the American magazine Travel Weekly, Arnie Weissman, actually referred to my piece as “one of the most thought-provoking” elements in the tome. Needless to say I was extremely chuffed because truth be told, no one has ever said that I provoked any thought in them (I’m rarely provoked to do any thinking myself). My new best buddy Arnie quoted me at length too. And called me Singh — Shakespeare, Shaw, Singh. Oh baby. I am now a great thinker. Kiss my toes, give me some cake, and I may think some thoughts for you.  Here’s  the article:  Summer Reading

What the world is reading about…

Article Appeared in The Indian Express on October 13, 2008. All Text is Copyright.

The Globe and Mail – Anger Erupts Over Nobel Peace Prize Recipient

Even though he is being lauded for his diplomatic prowess, former Finnish president and ‘peace broker’ Martti Ahtisaari has managed to rack up an impressive list of enemies, says columnist Doug Saunders. Ahtisaari was most recently credited for playing a key role in the interminable talks with Serbia that resulted in the Albanian-majority Kosovo becoming an independent nation earlier this year. This did not win him any popularity prizes with the Serbs who “saw him as an advocate of European interests” and bitterly resented the loss of Kosovo. Saunders cites instances of Serbians calling Ahtisaari a “Nazi” and his winning the prize a “sick joke”. Nonetheless, his efforts ended years of violence and allowed Serbia to move towards stability. Ahtisaari’s much-criticised “lack of neutrality” says Saunders, is what makes him so effective. “He has not always pretended to be guided by high principles…he is simply interested in getting the conflict to end….” Behind his “bland Scandinavian facade”, Ahtisaari knows how to “dangle very solid carrots and sticks at the bargaining table”.

Forbes – A Prize Tarnished

According to Stanford professor of medicine Abraham Verghese, the most startling fact about the Nobel Prize for Physiology and Medicine is not who got the award, but who didn’t. The committee’s choice of French scientists Luc Montagnier and Françoise Barré-Sinoussi to share half the prize for ‘discovering’ HIV, was a “slap in the face for American virologist Robert Gallo, “dismissing his role in the saga of scientific discovery around AIDS”. Gallo first described retroviruses and his lab identified HIV in 1984 around the same time that the French scientists did. However, since the virus he studied came from a sample sent by Luc Montagnier, Gallo was largely discredited in Europe but did fight back. This did not help him win friends there. According to Verghese, “not to give Gallo the Nobel Prize when rewarding other breakthroughs in AIDS winds up diminishing the prize’s lustre”. Claiming that the Nobel judges are unduly influenced by “politics and personalities”, Verghese says the solution would be for the “US (recession and all) to institute a prize that eclipses the Nobel, at least in monetary value and eventually in prestige”.

Der Spiegel – The Nobel Literature Debate: Big Sam Has Bigger Problems

French writer Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clezio may have won the Nobel Prize for Literature, but Americans are still smarting over the comments made by Horace Engdahl. The permanent secretary of the award’s committee infamously remarked that US writers are too “insular” and “insensitive” to produce anything of literary merit. It is ridiculously easy to refute such claims, says writer Ulrich Baron, suggesting that Engdahl’s vinegary comments may come from sour grapes: “Engdahl’s collection of somewhat pompous works never quite made it to the best-seller list of the New York Times. After one well-meaning critic called the work “airy”, could the sledge hammer now be falling?”

http://www.improbable.com – Annals of Improbable Research

Discoveries that promise to unveil the secrets of the universe and life-saving medical research are all very well, but there are smaller mysteries that are equally worthy of attention. And the bi-monthly Annals of Improbable Research in the article “Research that makes people laugh and then think”, applauds those who plumb the depths of the irrelevant with the Ig Nobel Awards. This year’s winners include discoveries of use to pet lovers (fleas on dogs jump higher than on cats); hypochondriacs (expensive fake medicines work better than cheap ones); and the experimentally inclined (one winner said cola is a spermicide, another discovered the opposite, the rest is up to you)….

Kim Jong-Il: The Dear Leader… or no more?

When North Korea’s head of state, ‘Dear Leader’ Kim Jong Il, did not show up for the 60th anniversary ceremony of the country on Tuesday, there were speculations that he had serious health problems. But if Japanese professor Toshmitsu Shigemura from Waseda University is to be believed, Kim is already dead. Outrageous as this seems, it is hard to come by any credible information about the reclusive leader of a notoriously secretive country. A look at some of the speculations about him that have been doing the rounds…

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(Appeared in the Indian Express. Image by Sasikumar. Article by Asavari Singh. All Images and Text are copyright)

Resist the Urge to Splurge

It’s fun to buy things on impulse, but overdoing it could lead to disaster. here are 10 fail-proof ways to control your spending.

By asavari singh
Photograph Laurence Dutton/Getty images

You walk into a department store to buy a pair of socks, but by the time you leave, you’re the proud owner of new stilettos, a pedicure kit, six shades of nail polish, a dustpan, a doll for your daughter, and an adorable teapot you saw on the way out and just had to have. Don’t get us wrong: we know life would be quite joyless without the occasional, completely unnecessary treat. But if your spending habits are eroding your bank balance and illing your home and closets with useless clutter, you may have a problem.

“We all buy things on impulse, but when it becomes a habit, it turns into a compulsion, something we find dificult to control,” says Dr Madhumati Singh, senior psychologist at the Samvedna Clinic, Delhi. “Many people use shopping the way others use drugs or alcohol: to feel better. Buying something gives them a quick boost. To sustain that ‘high’ they carry on overspending, but end up with more problems andregrets than before.” And it doesn’t matter how much money you have (the debt-ridden Michael Jackson is a case in point)—the more you get, the wilder your sprees will become. Fortunately, you can turn things around. Our everyday strategies will give you the tools to ight your urge to spend.

(Appeared in Better Homes and Gardens. All Images and Text are copyright)

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The Green Signal

Every romantic relationship has, at some point, and in some way, been jolted by jealousy. Here’s how you can navigate that bumpy road.

by Asavari Singh
Illustrations Priya Kuriyan

Unless you’re a Zen master who levitates above the world on a cloud of serenity, you’ve felt it. That threatened, resentful, scared, insecure, and yes, crazy feeling that arises when you gaze into your partner’s eyes and discover he’s staring past you at a slinky haired sylph in a Gucci dress. Most of us are quite familiar with the kind of complex neurotic thought process this kind of simple incident can lead to—are you attractive enough? Is your mate absolutely comatose with boredom in your company? Is he fantasising about that horriic woman and her hideously overpriced dress while he holds poor mousy little you in his arms? You may even be on the receiving end, with a significant other who interprets your admiration of Hrithik Roshan as a sign of impending inidelity. It’s all quite maddening. Yet, jealousy is not necessarily an irrational response to a situation that you perceive as threatening. What should you do when you discover that your worst fears are true? Before we answer these questions, here are some rather surprising facts everyone needs to know about jealousy.

(Appeared in Better Homes and Gardens. All Images and Text are copyright)

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Your kind of loving

The way you think and feel about love has a huge impact on the quality of your romantic relationships. Discover what makes you tick.

by Asavari Singh
Illustrations  Priya Kuriyan

For some, it’s dancing in the moonlight; for others, it’s epitomised by being able to be themselves, warts and all; still others think of it as a partnership, with contracts and clauses. Countless poems and ballads have asked the question: what is love? the answer, according to sociologist John alan Lee, depends on who is doing the loving. Based on research spanning several years, he argued that most people have one of six “love styles” (or a combination of them), which affects relationship satisfaction, intimacy, sex, commitment, and communication. since his 1973 book, “The Colours of Love”, was published, Lee’s work has continued to inspire researchers all over the world. Simply put, his typology holds water—even though love styles can change as you (or your relationship) do, your basic attitudes towards relationships stay fairly consistent.

(Appeared in Better Homes and Gardens. All Images and Text are copyright)

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The law is a warm, fuzzy thing

As human beings, we all have problems, inexplicable yearnings, nameless fears. Sometimes, these things can become too much. We feel overwhelmed, we can’t cope with everyday life, we’re afraid that something will snap. At moments like this, we need understanding and guidance. But unfortunately, good psychiatrists can be incredibly expensive.

Do not believe that all is lost. A few recent news reports have opened my eyes to fresh alternatives that will allow you to get the best-and free-help from the most distinguished professionals. Here’s what you can do.

1.     Get involved in a messy custody battle. Make sure to initiate enough legal wrangling to take the case to the Supreme Court. If lucky, here you will encounter Justice Arijit Pasayat who will give you couples therapy, just as he did to Gaurav and Sumedha Nagpal. It’s unlikely that he will grant you a divorce so feel free to go ahead even if you want to stay married to your partner. Invoking the language of psychoanalysis, this insightful Freud of the judiciary will tell you to “dissolve your ego” for the sake of your child. To add weight to his argument, he will weave his tapestry of psychological insights against a searing critique of legal and cultural history:
“The provisions under the Hindu Marriages Act for granting divorce on grounds of either of the spouses suffering from diseases like leprosy and mental illness are being misused by some couples. Those days, our forefathers never had such problems and marital disputes were sorted out within the four walls of the house.”
This is true. Women these days just don’t know how to take a well-deserved sock to the jaw. Instead they complain of ‘domestic violence’. What a terribly selfish sense of entitlement. If you undercook the chicken, then you’d better be acountable and bear the consequences instead of wasting Justice Pasayat’s time with your inconsequential problems. As for men, if your wife is caught screwing the driver, then asking for a divorce is not a manly thing to do. As the Judge advises, keep it “within the four walls” or simply bury her under the floor. That way, the dispute will stay within the house. If this isn’t enough to bring tears of enlightenment to your eyes, he will give you gender-specific advice about the harm you’re doing to your child:
“Ultimately the child suffers. If it is a girl, the trauma is more, particularly at the time of the marriage of such children.”
Thank you Justice Pasayat. I’m sure the International Psychoanalytic Association can’t wait to grant you an honorary membership.

2. Become implicated in a high-profile murder investigation. It will do even if you’re a friend or servant of the victim’s parents, as has been the case in the Aarushi Talwar murder case. The CBI will take great care of you, if this news report is to be believed: “…the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) on Wednesday subjected Durranis, the family friends of Talwars to a psycho-analysis test.”
They did this for a lot many other suspects as well. Now as far as the official definition of ‘psychoanalysis’ goes, you enter a plush office, where a doctor will ask you, ‘what seems to be worrying you?’Then he will lay you down on a plush couch and listen to you rail on about how your chronically tardy mailman brings back the trauma of being picked up five minutes late from school by your mother. Alternatively, it could mean that you’re taken through a fascinating journey into your own psyche through cards printed with inkblots. Tip: most look like a) rabbits and b) vaginas. But just say “I see blood and the devil eating puppies” and you will get more free treatment.
If you’re experimentally inclined, then say many inconsistent things. They will then give you hypnotic drugs or hook you up to a cool machine, thus satisfying your lifelong desire to find out what it’s like to be abducted by aliens. They may even give you an anal probe–traditionally the province of outer space invaders–to check if that particular orifice tells the truth.
You may get a kick out of interrogation too, because for once in your life, it will be all about you and they will actually be interested in what you say. Many people do not experience this even once before they die. And as evidenced by the Talwar case, this enchanting process can be repeated for months, again and again and again.Thank you CBI for making us mentally healthy, psychoanalyzed people.

Left Behind

What could I possibly cook for dinner? That’s what I was thinking about when I ran into Sonal a few yards from my front gate. My heart sank. Unnecessary conversations always drained me. Especially when they were with neighbors. The burden of knowing that the same dull scripts would be replayed over and over again. Neighborly visits had become a lot more frequent after my wife left me for a man who wasn’t a distinguished, balding schoolteacher like myself. Continue reading Left Behind