The soul-crushing misery of hunting for a job at 40

Once upon a time, you struggled to get a job because you had no experience. Now, people dismiss you because you have too much experience. Your big, fat CV with its wealth of experience says only one thing to many employers: OLD, OLD, OLD. Ageism is real, folks!

Searching for a job at 40 is harder than searching for a job at 25
Upside: Unemployment has made an artist out of me!

And now, because I am so old and so experienced, let me do what old and experienced people do and give you some advice: the sweet spot for job hunting is somewhere between 2 and 7 years. So once you hit that, the following options are best: (a) cling on to your job for dear life because what use is self-actualization when you’ll die anyway. Try not to die hungry, at least, (b) cling on to your spouse and make sure they cling on to their job (c) try to win the lottery, (d) don’t dismiss a life of crime offhand, (d) downsize and live in a shipping container under a bridge and grow your own wild nettles (e) get a facelift and anything-else-lift; shave some lines off your face and some lines off your CV and hope for the best, (d) start your own company and hire only young and cheap workers — wasn’t it, ‘Do unto others as others do unto you?’ No? It was something else? Never mind!

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